When I Was A Hypnotist

Bob Flicker

Absurdly Yours

 

 

WHEN I WAS A HYPNOTIST

and

My First Miscalculation

 

 

When I Remarried, My Wife Insisted I Stop Hypnosis

after

My Second Miscalculation

 

Bob Flicker...THEN

 

I decided to become a hypnotist in an attempt to save my first marriage. I gave it up to save my second marriage. If that doesn’t make sense, I will explain.

 

         Both of us being nineteen years of age when we married hardly qualified us to be a gambler’s safe bet for a lasting marriage. After eighteen years and two children our marriage had reached the point of no return. I decided in order to save our marriage required desperate, innovative measures on my part.

Becoming A Hypnotist

 

         What to do? The solution came to me in an inspirational flash. I would become a hypnotist. I was always intrigued by hypnosis. It could be the answer for saving our marriage. The plan: I believed that the main cause of our marital problems was her tenseness. So, when I became a hypnotist I would hypnotize her and give her post-hypnotic suggestions to relax. Once she relaxed our marriage would be saved.

 

It Didn’t Work Out The Way I Had Planned

 

         I trained to become a hypnotist and became a damned good one. The problem was my wife. She wouldn’t let me hypnotize her. We lived together for another year or so. In that time I was hypnotizing everybody at parties, in bars and privately—everybody, that is except my wife. We separated after nineteen years of marriage. I moved to New York City and became a sought after hypnotist within certain circles. (Not to be confused with stage hypnotists who do stupid things like making people bark like dogs.)

 

It All Had To Do With Sex

 

         I did nothing to embarrass people but I was responsible for a couple of miscalculations resulting in some individuals becoming furious with me. As is often the case it all had to do with sex.

 

         Shall I continue?

        

         Before I continue, however, I want to mention the fact that I used no props such as a swinging ball on a chain or a rotating disc or any other device. I just used my voice.

Now, On With My Hypnotic Miscalculations.

        

         The first one occurred at a dinner party. There were two couples and I was alone, since I was between marriages and not dating. One couple was having a torrid romance and that night, as I learned later, he was staying with her for the first time. The romantic lady mentioned the fact that I was a hypnotist and perhaps I could help her boyfriend (The romantic guy) to stop smoking. And so it began (the trouble and its repercussions).

 

         Hypnotizing him was easy. Once he was under I began the post- hypnotic suggestions that would help him stop smoking. Following that I began with his awakening. That’s where the problem was to occur.

 

The Awakening Process: My Undoing

 

         Here is how the awakening process worked: I would begin with an upward count of one through ten. With each number there would be an awakening suggestion. With the beginning count I would say the number 1 with a suggestion such as: You are beginning to wake up. 2 Your head will be clear, clear as a bell. Why I used the words clear as a bell, I have no idea today. 3 You are beginning to come to the surface. Because several hypnotized subjects of mine had trouble sleeping I added, what I thought to be, helpful awakening suggestions.

 

My Miscalculation

        

         Now, this is where I got into trouble with the following instructions: 4 When you go to bed tonight, as soon as you put your head down on your pillow you will go sound asleep. Should any emergency or other needs arise during the night you will awake and attend to them. When you return to bed you will, again fall into a deep sleep. When you awake in the morning you will feel refreshed and invigorated.

 

         The upward count would continue with awakening suggestions of feeling wide-awake. And so it would happen, without fail or problems until this occasion

 

         The next day I heard from my previous night dinner hostess who was quite upset with me. It had to do with her two friends, the romantic couple who were to spend their first night together. It seems that the romantic lady was more than furious with me.

 

         This is what happened: When the romantic couple entered her bedroom, she got undressed. Then, he got undressed. Then she got into bed (with great anticipation, I would assume, based on her fury with me). Then he got into bed. As soon as his head touched the pillow he fell into a deep sleep, not to awaken until the following morning.

 

   Fury knows no measure like that of an anticipated, romantic night denied.

 

Miscalculation #2

 

         Now, we move ahead by about two years. I am now remarried. We received a dinner invitation from a woman friend of my wife. My wife’s friend and her new and passionate boyfriend would be spending their first night together. (Let me break in at this point to say I never volunteered the fact that I was a hypnotist.) Our hostess turned to her boyfriend and said, “Bob is a hypnotist. Perhaps he can help you to stop smoking.”

        

         It was a repeat of that first situation. Why I didn’t remember, I’ll never know? All I can say is that he got a good night’s sleep and I got a woman’s fury directed at me through my wife who made me promise never to do hypnosis again. That was almost 45 years ago and I kept my promise. 

 

Psychokinesis/Telekinesis

        

         Before I end this piece I must tell you about my ability to perform psychokinesis. Psychokinesis or telekinesis is the ability of the mind to move physical objects. Could I really command a chair or another object to float across a room? Not really. I could just make it appear so. Here is how I did it.

        

         It could be in a room full of people. I would hypnotize one of them. I would tell my hypnotized subject that upon opening his eyes the room would be empty of people except for the two of us and so it appeared to him. I would prearrange to have another person (now invisible to the subject), at my signal, walk across the room holding a chair or another object.

        

        

         The hypnotized subject would not be consciously aware of the other person and only see a floating chair. I was performing the allusion of psychokinesis.

 

        

        

 

No More Miscalculations

 

         It has been 45 years since I last hypnotized anyone. There are times, I must confess, that I wonder if I could still do it. Aging has changed the tone of my voice. Yet, that could work to my advantage. Hmmm.

 

         I must admit that when some individuals, particularly women (for some reason), find out that I was once a hypnotist I am invariably asked the same question by them, “Could I be hypnotized?” That is when I experience a tinge of temptation. Then I remember: No More Miscalculations.

 

Bob Flicker

10/27/14


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