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Bob Flicker








                                                                            SOPHIE.....the realist


                                                                            NORA.......the optimist


                                                                            BELLE......the cynic





We see three, young women (early twenties) standing before a nine foot, concert grand piano. They are dressed in work clothes.


SOPHIE       Whose brilliant idea was it that we become piano movers?


NORA          Mine. We have to make a statement!


BELLE         Some statement. That’s a nine-foot, concert grand piano. Must weigh a ton!


SOPHIE       The owner told me it took four guys, built like gorillas, to move it in.


NORA          (Enthusiastic) That’s what’s so great!


SOPHIE       What’s so great?


NORA          We’re women!


BELLE         Big deal! I knew that before we came here.


SOPHIE       Not only are we women—there are only three of us.


NORA          That’s O.K.! We’ve got an advantage.


BELLE         Like—what?


NORA          The female brain, times three!


BELLE         Right now I’d take the male body, times four!


SOPHIE       I never knew a concert grand was so big.


NORA          You’ve seen a concert grand before.


SOPHIE       Yeah, from the third balcony at Avery Fisher Hall. Up there a concert grand 

                          looks small enough to lift by myself.


BELLE         What are we trying to prove, anyway?


NORA          My God! Don’t you know?


BELLE         Look Nora, right now we are looking at the biggest, damned piano I have ever 

                       seen. A piano we have to lift out of that double-sized window—(She goes to 

                       the window and looks down.) and lower it fifteen stories to the street. 

                       (Pauses) If we do that, I know what we’ll prove.


NORA          Good! Now, explain it to Sophie.


BELLE         (To Sophie) If we do that—we’ll prove that we are fuck’n magicians.


NORA          What’s the matter with you two? Don’t you realize that we are about to blaze 

                        a new trail for women? Knock down another barrier erected by those pigs!

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SOPHIE       Pigs?  What pigs?


BELLE         She’s talking about men.


SOPHIE       I don’t have anything against men.


NORA          I can’t believe you said that! Do you like being oppressed?


SOPHIE       Who’s oppressed?


BELLE         We are. By that goddamned concert grand.


SOPHIE       Suppose we somehow manage to get this monster through the window—


BELLE         I can’t even lift the bench!


SOPHIE       (continuing) How do we get it down fifteen stories to the street?


NORA          Not to worry. I brought pulleys.


SOPHIE       (Examining the pulleys) Wonderful! They won’t work!


NORA          Of course they will work. Physics was my best subject in college. Even a child 

                         could lower the piano, using the pulleys.


SOPHIE       Without rope?


NORA          There’s no rope?


SOPHIE       No rope.


NORA          Belle, you were supposed to bring the rope!


BELLE         I did.


NORA          Where is it?


BELLE         Here. (She removes a 3-foot piece of clothesline from her bag.)


SOPHIE       There isn’t enough there to hang ourselves with.


NORA          Belle, how could you do a thing like that?


BELLE         Don’t bug me Nora. I’m an actress not a piano mover. How the hell was I 

                        supposed to know what you meant when you told me to bring rope?


SOPHIE       Well, so much for our piano moving business.


NORA          We just can’t quit! We would set back women’s rights for years.


BELLE         Moving pianos? I’ll take that chance.


NORA          Don’t you understand? Piano moving is symbolic.


BELLE         Of what?


NORA          Of women’s right to do anything men do!


BELLE         Let’s not get carried away.


SOPHIE       (Thinking) You know, Nora is right. If we fail here, we could just as well fail 

                         elsewhere. They’re watching.


BELLE         Who?


SOPHIE       Men.


BELLE         You can bet it won’t be the piano they’ll be watching.


NORA          The pigs!


SOPHIE       (Excited) That’s it!


BELLE         What’s it?


SOPHIE       Belle, you just came up with the answer.


BELLE         What answer?


SOPHIE       The problem is that we have the brainpower but not the muscle power but 

                          we do have our own female, physical power.


NORA          Our female, physical power? What you’re talking about involves our boobs 

                         and asses, right?


SOPHIE       Right.


NORA          They don’t move pianos.


SOPHIE       They could.


NORA          How?


BELLE         (Looking out of the window) There are six guys standing out in the street.  


NORA          (Joining Belle at the window) They look like cavemen.


SOPHIE       (Joining the others at the window) Here is how we use our female, physical 

                          power.  They are going to move the piano for us.     


BELLE         How do we get them to do that?


SOPHIE       Advertising.

BELLE        (Smiling)  You mean, we use our equipment to get them to use their equipment

                       to move the piano.


SOPHIE       Exactly.


NORA          If we get those guys to move the piano it defeats our whole purpose. We are 

                         supposed to be breaking down the barriers of discrimination against women 

                         in work like this.


SOPHIE       We will be breaking down the barriers.


NORA          By using those men to move the piano?


SOPHIE       Don’t think of them as men. Think of them as lifting equipment and we are

                          the operators.                  


They join hands in agreement and begin waving and calling out to the six men down on the street.



 © robert 2014