Listening In #1



Bob Flicker

a writers

November 2016



     “What in hell are you hooraying about?”

     “Do I know you?”


     “How come you butted into my hooray?

     “Hooray is public property.”

     “Not my hooray! It’s private and none of your beeswax.”

     “Who says it’s none of my beeswax?”

     “I says!”

     “Beeswax is just like hooray... public property.

     “O.K. Maybe hooray is public property—

     “So’s beeswax.”


     “Beeswax’s public property.”

     “Not when it’s used personal.”

     “You’re one of those.”


     “A beeswax user who don’t know noth’n about usen beeswax     

      properways in the American language.”



     “Molly I got a confession.”

     “Tell me Tootsie. I love confessions.”

     “I’m having an affair with a married man.”

     “Does your husband know?

     “Of course he doesn’t know.”

     “What about your lover’s wife? Does she know?

     “Not yet.”

     “I always said that any married man who has an affair is his wife’s   


     “That’s very open-minded of you Molly.”

     “Can you tell me who it is Tootsie? I can keep a secret.”

     “Your husband.”




     “I voted three times.”

     “Republican or Democrat?

     “One each.”

     “That’s only two times. Who got your third vote?”

     “My mother.”

     “Your mother?”

     “Yep. ... She lost.”

     “What was she running for?”


     “Of these United States?”


     “That’s very funny.”

     “Don’t let her hear you say that!”

     “How did she react to losing?”

     “I haven’t told her yet.”




     “What do you mean my car damage isn’t covered?”

     “Did you look at the large print, with pictures, on page 25?

     “My policy only goes up to page 24.

     “Not important. It’s just the exclusion clause.”

     “The exclusion clause?”

     “Right. That’s what you got on page 25.

     “But, I didn’t get page 25.’

     “That’s because you were excluded.”





     “Congratulations. Your late uncle left you $5000.”

     “Great! I hardly knew him but he was my favorite uncle.”

     “You were his only living relative. Just sign here.”

     “What am I signing?”

     “The agreement.”

     “Then I get the $5000 from my dear, late uncle? God bless him.”

     “Initial the tombstone clause.”

     “Tombstone clause? What’s that?”

     “You agree to erect the Heavenly Angels tombstone over his grave.”

     “ Costing how much?”




     “Forget it. I never liked him anyways!”




     “I’m pregnant.”

     “How do you know?”

     “A woman knows those things.”

     “What do you want from me?”

     “I’m not blaming you.”

     “Sounds like it to me.”

     “You wouldn’t want to be the father?”



     “I get off at the next stop.”



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 © robert 2014