THE REPLACEMENT


8/4/86

written by

Bob Flicker


"ROBOT WORKERS" is one of the lead stories listed on the cover of TIME Magazine for the week of September 9, 2013. The story talks about robots replacing workers. One of those robots is listed as a welding robot.


I wrote about welding robots replacing HANK SPUTOWSKI in three different  assembly line jobs in my story THE REPLACEMENT 27 years ago.   In real life there are no surprise endings to the TIME story, there is in my story, THE REPLACEMENT. 


          Take a look:    

(picture from TIME Magazine, September 9, 2013 edition)

 


THE REPLACEMENT 

written by Bob Flicker 8/4/86


cast

HANK SPUTOWSKI...age 35

CORY SPUTOWSKI...age 25

MS. BLANK.................mid 30’s

                                

 

 

 

                                                                                SCENE I

 

         The living room of HANK and CORY SPUTOWSKI. The furniture is worn and drab. Children’s toys, magazines, and articles of clothing are strewn about. The room is a statement of poverty and neglect.

 

         HANK lays, sprawled on the sofa. He is unshaven and wears a sweat-stained undershirt that is only partially tucked into dirty, unwashed jeans. He wears no shoes. His socks have large holes through which his toes protrude. despite the time of day (10:00 a.m.) he is drinking from a quart bottle of beer. HANK is 35 years old and is an unemployed, journeyman welder. He has been out of work for more than one year. After trying, fruitlessly, to find new employment, he has stopped looking.

 

         CORY is HANK’S wife of ten years. She is only 25 years old but looks years older. Four children, endless housework and a night-time job as a waitress at a diner has worn her out. Her marriage to HANK was forced upon her and a reluctant HANK after he got her pregnant when she was 15 years old.

 

        CORY stands over HANK. She wears a bandana on her head. A broom is in one hand and a dustpan in the other.

 

CORY         (SCREAMING) Get up you bastard! It’s ten in the morning! Why  ain’t you  out

                   look'n for work?                         

 

HANK         Don’t scream at me Cory! You know damn well why I’m not look’n. There  

                   ain’t noth’n out there for an experienced welder like me. Nobody’s hire’n.         

                    They’re all lay’n off. You know I’ve looked and looked.

 

CORY         You can take some other kinda work.

 

HANK         Like what?

 

CORY         I don’t care what! Anything so long as it can bring in some money. (SHE 

                     BURSTS INTO TEARS)  Hank, the bank’s gonna take our house! We ain’t 

                     paid the mortgage for the past five months!

 

HANK        (SITTING UP) What does the bank want with a dump like this?                         

                      C’mon Cory stop cry’n. We’ll think of someth’n. (HE RISES TO HIS FEET,     

                      REACHING OUT TO COMFORT CORY. SHE PULLS AWAY AT HIS TOUCH.) 

                      We still got your money com’nin.

 

CORY         (WIPING AWAY THE TEARS WITH HER HANDS) Are you kid’n? Wait’n on     

                        tables at the diner ain’t gonna save our house! The salary and tips I get         

                        barely puts food on the table. (SHE TURNS TO WALK AWAY AND THEN   

                       WHEELS AROUND TO CONFRONT HANK.)  I  don't know how much longer 

                       I can keep go'n like this! Take'n care of 4 kids and the house dur'n the day and 

                       work'n at night. Look at me! I'm 25 and look like 45!

          

HANK         (REACHES OUT TO CORY) You don’t look so bad. C’mere. Gimme a 

                         kiss.                            

 

CORY         (PUSHING HIM AWAY) Keep away from me you-- you animal!           


HANK         Animal?

 

CORY         Yeah! Animal! all you ever think about is grab’n at me and screw'n!                         

 

HANK         (HIS MALE EGO IS INJURED)  You never use’ta complain! Let me tell you 

                       someth’n—I don’t need you to go to bed with me! There are others who         

                       can’t wait! 

 

CORY         I know about those others! Those ugly, fat whores who hang  out at the bar.     

                      You think I don’t know what you do after I go to  work?

 

HANK         What do you know? You don’t know noth’n!

 

CORY         (SHE IS FILLED WITH ANGER AND LOATHING.) I know plenty! I know 

                       when you’re supposed to be home watch’n the kids after I go to work, you    

                       take off for Hoolihan’s Bar and—

 

HANK         So what’s wrong if I have a few drinks with the boys? Jimmy’s  old enough 

                       to baby sit.

 

CORY         (SCREAMING) Old enough! You never cared about Jimmy! You blame him 

                       for you have’n to marry me!  

 

HANK         (WEAKLY) That’s not true Cory.

 

CORY         You knocked me up when I was fifteen Hank! If you hadn’ta                         

                       married me you woulda gone to jail!

 

HANK         (PROTESTING WEAKLY) I married ya because I love ya.

 

COREY       Ya loved me? Ha! That’s a hot one! You were 25 and I was a dumb, 

                        overdeveloped teenager with hot pants. You were  screw’n a dozen other 

                        high school girls. Some of em younger’n me. I was unlucky enough to get 

                        pregnant.

 

HANK         That don’t mean I don’t love ya. I love Jimmy—all our kids.

 

CORY         If ya love Jimmy why do you leave him alone at night?

 

HANK         He’s a big kid, that’s why.

 

CORY         Jimmy is ten years old! What’s he gonna do if the house catches on fire?

 

HANK         The house ain’t gonna catch on fire. Who tole you about me leav’n the 

                        house and go’n to Hoolihan’s?

 

CORY         Never ya mind who told me. I know all about your have’n a  few drinks with 

                       the (PAUSES FOR EMPHASIS) boys. Some  boys! Shiftless bums more like it! I 

                       also know you been bang’n anyth’n wear’n a skirt or—other wise.

 

HANK         Whada ya mean—or otherwise? Don’t you start gett’n any ideas I’m queer 

                       or someth’n! O.K., I admit there’s been a few times when I crawled into the 

                       sack with some bimbo. What’s  the big deal? We ain’t done noth’n for 

                       months. A man’s entitled!


CORY         (BITTER) Entitled?

 

HANK         Yeah! Entitled! Look, I’m a healthy 35-year-old man. I got  needs! 

 

CORY         (RISING ANGER) Needs? You got needs? So do I got needs! And So do our         

                       four kids got needs! D’ya wanna know about  our needs? (DOESN’T WAIT 

                      FOR A RESPONSE) We need security! We need to know that our home ain’t 

                      gonna be taken  away! We need a little fun in our lives! Hank, we need an         

                      awful lot and we ain’t gett’n noth’n! 

 

HANK         (DEFENSIVE) It ain’t my fault I got laid off! Ya act like I  didn’t knock myself 

                       out look’n for work. Ya know damn well I did! I trained for year to become         

                       an expert welder. I’m the best  Cory!There ain’t nobody better’n me! I         

                       figured I was set for life on the assembly line. (FURY) Three times! Three     

                       fuck’n  timesI got good jobs and three fuck’n times I got laid off!    

 

CORY         I heard that story a hundred times. I don’t wanna hear it no more! There’s 

                      other work to be found!

 

HANK         What? Like digg’n ditches?

 

CORY         If that what it takes to support your family. Yeah! What’s  wrong with digg’n 

                      ditches if it keeps a roof over our heads?

 

HANK         I’m a craftsman! A trained welder! Not no godamned ditch digger!

 

CORY         Hank, right now you ain’t noth’n but an outa work slob who’s                           

                      used up his unemployment  and union benefits! You’re a noth’n! 

                      (SCREAMING) Ya hear me? A noth’n!

 

HANK         (HIS MANHOOD IN SHREDS) I’m still a man Cory and don’t  ya forget it!     

                      Ask any of those bimbos down at Hoolihan’s what  kinda man I am. They’ll 

                      tell ya!

 CORY         What are they gonna tell me, that ya got a big welding rod! Big deal! Any     

                        gorilla in the zoo can claim the same thing. Ya wanna prove you’re a man?         

                        Get a job! Any kinda job—includ’n  digg’n ditches!

 

THE DOORBELL RINGS TWICE

 

HANK         Must be the mailman.

 

CORY         Yeah, with more bills we can’t pay!

 

HANK         Ya wanna get the mail?

 

CORY         What for?

 

HANK GOES FOR THE MAIL AND RETURNS WITH A HALF DOZEN ENVELOPES THAT HE IS FANNING THROUGH.

 

HANK         Bill—bill—bill—hey, what’s this? (HE PULLS OUT AN  ENVELOPE FROM     

                     THE MIDDLE OF THE STACK.) Ain’t no  return address or name on this here     

                      envelope. (HE HOLDS THE ENVELOPE UP TO THE LIGHT TRYING TO         

                      DETERMINE  ITS CONTENTS.) I wonder who it's from?

 

CORY         You can bet it’s somebody we owe money too.

 

HANK         Well, there’s only one way to find out. (HE TEARS THE ENVELOPE OPEN 

                       AND REMOVES A BUSINESS LETTER  AND SOME FORMS.) It’s from the 

                       TECHNOLOGY REORIENTATION EMPLOYMENT AGENCY. I’ve been to   

                       every employment agency around. Ain’t never heard of them.

 

CORY         What do they want?

 

HANK         (READING ALOUD) It says here: “Dear Mr. Sputowski...your                           

                      name has come to our attention”—I wonder how they got my name?     

                      (CONTINUES READING)  “Our agency is searching for highly skilled 

                      craftsmen in the following trades:” (HANK MUMBLES AS HIS FINGER 

                      TRACKS DOWN A LONG LIST UNTIL HE COMES TO WELDERS. HE 

                      SHOUTS OUT.)  Welders! They’re look’n for highly skilled welders! (HE     

                      READS ON EXCITEDLY, MUMBLING TO HIMSELF.) They say if an applicant 

                       qualifies they will place him immediately!  D’ya hear that Cory! If I don’t        

                       qualify nobody can! I’m gonna  call now and make an appointment!

 

 

SCENE II

 

WE ARE IN THE OFFICE OF THE  TECHNOLOGY REORIENTATION EMPLOYMENT AGENCY. AT CENTER STAGE IS A DESK WITH A TELEPHONE. SEATED BEHIND THE DESK IS MS. BLANK. IN FRONT OF THE DESK IS AN EMPTY CHAIR. STANDING BESIDE THE CHAIR, HOLDING SEVERAL, FILLED-OUT FORMS IS HANK SPUTOWSKI.THERE ARE TWO DOORS. ONE UPSTAGE LEFT AND THE OTHER UP-

STAGE RIGHT.

 

MS. BLANK IS A NO-NONSENSE EXECUTIVE. HER DARK HAIR IS PULLED BACK IN A TIGHT BUN. SHE WEARS NO MAKEUP. DARK GLASSES HIDE HER EYES. A BLACK, PINSTRIPE SUIT AND PLAIN, LOW-HEELED SHOES COMPLETE HER WARDROBE.

 

HANK         (DRESSED IN HIS BEST SUIT) My name is Sputowski. I got your letter with         

                       these here forms. (HOLDING FORMS OUT) They’re all filled out. I’m the best-

 

MS BLNK   (CUTTING HIM OFF) Sit down Mr. Sputowski.

 

HANK         (SEATS HIMSELF) Call me Hank.

 

MS BLNK   Mr. Sputowski, you have been assigned to me. My name is Ms. Blank.                  

 

HANK         Look, Miss—

 

MS BLNK   (ICY) Ms!

 

HANK         What?

 

MS BLNK   My name is Ms not Miss!


HANK         Oh.—look Mizz, I’m a welder. The best spot welder that was  ever on an 

                        assembly line. Your letter said—

 

MS BLNK   (A FRIGID INTERRUPTION) My name  is not miss or mizz.  My name is Ms. 

                          Blank. Please try to remember that, wont you?

 

HANK         Yeah, sure. (HE EXTENDS HIS RIGHT HAND) Boy, am I glad to  meetcha.

 

MS BLNK   (IGNORING HANK’S HAND, SHE TAKES HIS FILLED OUT FORMS.)  I see 

                         that your first job was with United Motors  Corporation.

 

HANK         That’s right. I quit high school to go to work there. All my folks                 

                        worked at United. My father and his brothers, my grandfather and his         

                        brothers. I mean I got uncles, cousins and nephews that  worked there.     

                       They all got laid off like me.

 

MS BLNK   Why were you laid off Mr. Sputowski?

 

HANK         (BITTER) You wanna know why I got laid off? Me, the best, goddamned—

                       excuse the language—spot welder they got on the assembly line! I’ll tell ya 

                       why I got laid off after giv’n em the best twelve years of my life! After what 

                       me and my family did for United—

 

MS BLNK   (CUTTING HIM OFF) Why Mr. Sputowski?

 

HANK         Why? Why—what?

 

MS BLNK   Why were you laid off Mr. Sputowski?

 

HANK         (MORE BITTER) I was replaced! D’ya wanna know who replaced me?

 

MS BLNK   Suppose you tell me.

 

HANK         I got replaced by a robot!

 

MS BLNK   (STUDYING THE FORMS) Your next job was with Delta Truck Assemblies.

 

HANK         Yeah. That’s right. I lucked out and got a job there right away  on the 

                        assembly line.

 

MS BLNK   (LOOKING AT THE FORMS) After more than two years you were laid off 

                         again.

 

HANK        I was there almost three years when they laid me off. I couldn’ta believed it. 

                      Me—the best spot welder they had! But—it happened again. They retooled 

                      the factory and I got replaced by one of those goddamn robots.

 

MS BLNK   (UNMOVED) I see. Your next and last job was with Allied Tractor.

 

HANK         Yeah. I thought I was safe there. You know, it be’n a smaller company and 

                        all that.

 

MS BLNK   But you weren’t safe there, were you Mr. Sputowski?

 

HANK         (SHAKING HIS HEAD) Nope. Not even there. A little over a  year later they 

                       canned me. I was replaced by another one of  those freak’n robots. I’ll tell 

                       you someth’n Mizz—Mizz—

 

MS BLNK   Blank.

 

HANK         Yeah. Mizz Blank. Them robots is tak’n away all the jobs from us human-

                        beans. Pretty soon there wont be any jobs left for somebody like me.

 

MS BLNK   (FOR THE FIRST TIME THERE IS COMPASSION IN HER TONE.) Now, don’t 

                       you worry about a thing Mr. Sputowski. This is no run-of-the-mill     

                       employment agency. We guarantee that if an applicant qualifies, that 

                       person will be put to work immediately.

 

HANK         (NERVOUS) Do I qualify?

 

MS BLNK   (SMILES FOR THE FIRST TIME) You certainly do Mr. Sputowski. A man with 

                        your experience as a spot welder qualifies, without question. I believe we     

                        can place you tomorrow.

 

HANK         (OVERJOYED) Tomorrow? I—I don’t know what to say!

 

MS BLNK   Don’t say anything. American Industry needs the best spot welders it can get 

                         and we know where those needs are.

 

HANK         (RENEWED SELF-CONFIDENCE) Well, you’re look’n at the best and I’m 

                       ready to go to work!

 

MS BLNK   Of course you are. But—before you do you have  to go through  our 

                        reorientation program so that we can transform you into the new kind of 

                        spot-welder that our modern factories require.

 

HANK         Reorientation program? Look! I’m the best! I don’t need no reorientation         

                        program.

 

MS BLNK   Mr. Sputowski, with the competition American industry is receiving from 

                        Japan and other countries, management has become very demanding. It is 

                        really no more than a brief  session. You go in and you come out. It only         

                        takes one hour.

 

HANK         That’s all, just one hour? When do I start?

 

MS BLNK   Immediately. Just go through that door (POINTS STAGE RIGHT) over there 

                        and you will be taken care of.

 

HANK         (RISING FROM CHAIR. HE GRABS MS BLANK’S HAND.)  Thank you for 

                       everything! (HE TURNS AND WALKS TO  DOOR AT STAGE RIGHT. AS HE 

                       IS ABOUT TO ENTER HE TURNS TO Ms BLANK, SMILING.) See ya in one     

                       hour.

 

 

SCENE III

 

IT IS ONE HOUR LATER. MS BLANK IS SEATED AT HER DESK LOOKING OVER VARIOUS PAPERS WHEN A BELL RINGS. 


MS BLNK     (LOOKING AT HER WATCH) Is it one hour already? (SHE RISES FROM 

                         HER DESK AND GOES TO DOOR AT STAGE  RIGHT. SLOWLY, SHE     

                         OPENS THE DOOR.) Come in Mr. Sputowski.

 

HANK SPUTOWSKI SHUFFLES MECHANICALLY INTO THE ROOM. HE HAS, INDEED, BEEN TRANSFORMED.  HANK IS A ROBOT.

 

MS BLANK, AFTER A BRIEF BUT PROFESSIONAL INSPECTION OF THE ROBOT RETURNS TO HER DESK. SHE PICKS UP THE TELEPHONE AND SPEAKS TO HER ASSISTANT.

 

MS BLNK   Hello...Sally. Call United Motors and tell them that we can deliver the new 

                         spot welding robot tomorrow. (PAUSE) Yes, the same price, $150,000 

                         dollars. (SHE HANGS UP THE PHONE. RISING FROM HER DESK SHE GOES 

                        TO DOOR AT STAGE LEFT AND OPENS IT. CORY SPUTOWSKI ENTERS.)

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 1.44.12 PM

CORY SPUTOWSKI HAS ALSO BEEN TRANSFORMED. SHE IS SMARTLY DRESSED AND LOOKS YOUNG AND ATTRACTIVE. SHE SAUNTERS OVER TO THE ROBOT AND LOOKS AT IT WITH DETATCHED AMUSEMENT. STANDING BEHIND CORY IS MS BLANK. CORY TURNS TO FACE HER, SMILING.

 

MS BLNK   (HOLDING CHECK OUT TO CORY) As agreed, here is your check for 

                        $50,000.

 

BLACKOUT


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